Confessions
by Hybridbabe
Summary: When they said confession was good for the soul, Daniel never knew how right they were... until now. Beach Head Spoilers


**Title:** Confessions  
**Pairing:** Daniel/Vala  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Disclaimer:** I OWN EVERYTHING STARGATE! ... OK, so maybe not, but I wish I did. Then maybe I'd have Daniel and Vala together for longer than 7 episodes... lol  
**Author's Note:** Oh crap, I'm at it again... LOL! It's not a bad thing, though, because hey, it's Daniel and Vala shippage, yet again. Is it me, or does this pairing make more sense than wooden Sam and Jack? Seriously, I feel the love. Anyway, Hope you all enjoy this: I know I did when I wrote it. Here we go! (Also, this is un-beta'ed, so if there's mistakes... it's my fault. I didn't have a grammar fairy to talk to, so I was in the doghouse with that one... Sorry!)  
**Summary:** When they said confession was good for the soul, Daniel never knew how right they were... until now. (Beach Head Spoilers)

* * *

"Come on, Daniel!" He heard his name from the left and instantly turned around, expecting to see her one last time. He wanted to see her again: a flash of long raven hair, a pair of glittering blue-gray eyes, anything. Behind his glasses, his eyes were searching hungrily, longingly, wanting to catch some glimpse of her, but was left denied. Where was she? He could've sworn she was right there in front of him.

"Daniel!" To the right now, and he twisted fast enough to feel his heart unfulfilled yet again when nothing was there. Where was she? Where could she have gone?

"Vala!" he shouted, hoping she would answer. "Where are you?"

"Daniel, I'm right here!" But nothing met his eyes.

Daniel tried again. "Vala! Where? I can't find you!"

Now the reply was fainter, more of an echo, a faint mockery of her rich and exotic voice. "Daniel, come find me! Find me... find me..."

* * *

Instantly, his eyes awakened, jolting him with a start from the infirmary bed he was laying upon. His heart raced furiously as he blinked open and shut before finally closing them with resign. Just a dream, it was just a dream... But he knew it hadn't been, not all of it. Vala was still gone, lost somewhere in the unknown where he couldn't find her or feel her by his side...

She could be alive still. His mind told him that over and over again, but did they really know? Would they ever know the truth?

He groaned, and slumped back, defeated and melancholy. He felt hollow, alone, incomplete. There were holes in him even he didn't know about, and she had filled them before he even realized it. Now, it was like breaking open his wounds with a jagged knife, and letting the world watch him bleed while the pain throbbed forever...

Damn, he missed her already.

What had he done? What didn't he do? What could've happened if he had just listened to her, had let her speak before she ran off the bridge? Why did he tell her to shut the hell up so many times and snap at her, especially since she didn't deserve it? What the hell was wrong with him?

And it was partly his fault she left anyway...

A warm hand was placed upon his, and for a moment he thought it was hers. "Bad dreams?"

Sam. Why hadn't he even noticed that she was sitting right there next to him this whole time? Was he so blind to the female race or something? He hadn't even known she was there... Either of them...

"What?" he managed to distractedly answer, lost in his own mind.

She smiled warmly, comfortingly. "Bad dreams?"

Groaning, he nodded slightly. "And they haven't ended yet."

"I'm guessing today's events wore you out, especially with the way they ended."

"Yeah, we've seen better days."

"**You've** seen better days." Sam squeezed his hand, a twinkling in her eyes causing him to groan. Oh God, he knew what that meant... "So, I guess we can assume that there was more between you and Vala than the bracelets, huh?"

"...Don't remind me. Please, not now..." He tried faking it, being flippant when there was nothing to be glib about, he really did; but even to his ears it came out hollow and meek.

And she knew right away that he was lying. "It's kind of interesting though, Daniel. I would have never thought you would have fallen for some intergalactic space pirate."

"She wasn't a pirate," he blurted out, and then kicked himself mentally. _Yeah, Dan, great, make sure Sam knows you still care by protecting Vala, even when she could be... could be-- _He stopped himself and sighed. "She was... something else entirely."

"Can I tell you something?" She leaned forward into a closer proximity, and he fidgeted slightly, feeling like some sort of cheating lover. _Get a grip_,_ Jackson_ he thought, _She's just Sam._ "I didn't see much of you and Vala together, but from what I could distinguish when we were talking on the phone the other day, she became a big part of your life. In fact, I never heard you sound so... happy before, especially about a woman since Sha're."

"She's not like Sha're, Sam," Daniel countered, shaking his head. "She's entirely different. I mean, she lies, she steals, she treats every man like they're her toys; she's manipulative, she's untrustworthy, and she's--"

"Perfect for you," replied Sam, grinning. "I can tell from how passionately you describe her. She kept you on your toes, off-balance, and unglued. I kind of liked that: you were happier that way. She was good for you, and plus, I've never heard you curse so many times in my life."

"So? And what happened then, Sam? I drove her away and pretty much got her killed. I should've let her talk, or listened to her, or done something--"

"She's not dead, Daniel."

"I'd like to be sure, though. Until then, I'm going to beat myself up for telling her to shut up so many times, if that's alright with you," he snapped.

She just shrugged, ignoring his tone. "You know, I kind of liked seeing you like that."

"What? Acting like a jerk?"

"No, but when you do, it reminds us that you're human, and sometimes you make mistakes. You just have to convince yourself of that... That's hard, but I know you can do it. Stop beating yourself up, ok? And think positively: Vala could be out there somewhere." Grinning, she patted his hand, trying to comfort him. "I think she brought out the best in you when she was here. I can tell that you've changed, and I'm happy she happened to you."

"How did she do that?" he asked softly, almost to himself, feeling his anger drain away. "Things were just perfect: I as going to go to Atlantis, learn everything I could about the Ancients, maybe even learn about the Wraith, and then... She happened, and screwed it all up. Normally that would make me irritated because I hate people interfering with the way I work, but now... Why am I okay with that?"

He looked to her for answers but she shrugged. "I don't know. And if I were you, I wouldn't waste my time trying to figure it out. It just happens sometimes."

"How can you give me a mystery and then tell me not to solve it?"

"Because feelings aren't meant to be analyzed and solved. They just... happen."

Something in the way she said it made her grow solemn, as if she was on the receiving end of her advice rather than him, and Daniel took a stab at it. "That happen to you?"

"...Yeah."

"With Pete?"

"No, not with Pete..." For a moment or two, she continued to look troubled, but then smiled comfortingly, and squeezed his hand one more time before standing up and letting go. "Anyway, I should let you rest. You've probably got a big day ahead of you tomorrow, now that we know what the Ori can do. We're going to need you to translate and interpret anything you can find on them so we can find a weakness in their tactics. I'll see you later, Daniel."

"Thanks, Sam." He watched her walk a few steps towards the door before he called her back. "You were right, you know."

"Yeah?"

He nodded. "Vala meant a lot to me."

"She still does, Daniel. And we'll find her, someday."

Daniel smiled, and he felt better than he had in hours. "Yeah. We will." She turned to stride out before he called again. "Uh, Sam?"

"Yeah, Daniel?"

"Don't tell Cam and Teal'c about this, ok? They already tease me about her already."

She winked at him, and for a moment, he caught a glimpse of Vala in his mind. "I won't. Get some sleep, ok? Night."

"Night," he replied, smiled a small smile dreamily up at the ceiling, and closed his eyes. They'd find her again. Someday.


End file.
